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Kenshins-Soul

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Update

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Hello everyone. Sorry for being MIA for too long since my last post.


On September 27th marks two months ago since my Dad passed away. His death was different from my Mom's. He wasn't in the final stage of Alzheimer's which is stage 7. He was somewhere stages 5-6. It was difficult being with him until he died. My brother and I took turns being with him. He was on the day shift from 7 am to 7 pm while I on the night shift from 7 pm to 7 am. He did suffer some pain and was on morphine. I wish the staff used the IV instead injecting it with a syringe because I hated the colors inside Dad's mouth. It was greenish-blue. Also I wished they had liquid medications in the IV instead of injecting into his mouth. The meds were behavioral meds. If Dad didn't get them, he'll wake up being aggressive and agitated. They told me it has happened before with other residents. They want Dad's body settle in peace so he can slip away. We were told by the hospice nurse Dad had what is called Terminally Restlessness. Residents dies within 2 weeks and Dad lived only a week and a half. Once I learned what he had, I had to go and find a funeral home to get his cremation ready before he dies. Once I secured it, it was a week and a day later he passed. It was mind blowing for me because I was supposed to do this back in April when Dad was under hospice care when my brother and I thought was he was going to die. He managed to recover and lived.


Back in March he wasn't feeling well. It was due to the lower back patches he was wearing and it has lidocaine in it. What we didn't know at the time it has side effects. It effects your taste buds. So whenever food was set in front of Dad, he refused to eat because it tasted terrible. Because of that, he has lost a lot of weight. The staff took the patches off from their care so Dad can recover. The facility hosts a brunch every 2nd Sunday each month for families to be with their loved ones for brunch which is very nice. On Palm Sunday (April) there were tons of people, probably the most we've ever seen since the facility started back in November 2021. Anyway, in Dad's wing a woman then a man came down with Covid and Dad was the 3rd person. He was quarantined for 11 days. He lost some more weight. Then on the 11th day or 12th day he had a cousin who visited him and Dad was eating again and both have a great visit. Since then that visit Dad was hungry. He ate a lot and gained his weight back within 2 weeks. The woman and man has recovered too. There were other residents did have it and they recovered too.


I won't bother going with the details between May to early July.


Once Dad passed away I was relieved he was no longer suffering and no longer have that terrible disease. He was free. What's interesting his he died before Mom's birthday on August 2nd and their anniversary August 3rd. He is with her on those special days.


I miss my Dad. I think about him every now and then. I almost had a full cry down in the bathroom at work, days before my birthday. l managed to get through work. I'm 53 now. When I went my brother to go to the restaurant and his family came a few minutes later. During our meal, I was thinking of Dad, compared to one year ago he was with us on my birthday. I was the only one in the family he wasn't present for the birthday. I'd buy birthday cards for the kids and my brother and wife with 'love from Grandpa' or 'love from Dad' along with my name. I'm crying while I'm typing this. Anyway, I'd sooner have him free than dead. My birthday was nice, The food was good. After the meal, my brother took me for a drive towards Grand Haven to see Lake Michigan. I enjoyed the ride.


Right now I'm trying to go out while it's still daylight before the cold and winter comes. I'm so not looking forward to winter. It'll be my 2nd winter here. I'm still living in that small apartment I don't like. I'm still working that 3rd shift part-time job. I'm working a trigger finger in my left ring finger. I was gonna have surgery on it but when Dad died my time was spent taking care of his estate. My rent has gone up. Not super thrilled about that. I finally had some of my belongings in the storage unit. It's a work in progress. I have some more to put away.


Oh. I have Dad's urn next to Mom's urn. I think we're going to scatter their ashes next year? I think my brother wasn't ready or something? I plan to move a bookshelf I have in my so-called dining room to the living room so I can put their urns on top. They're currently in my bedroom. I'm re-configuring my apartment out so maybe it'll make me feel better. I'm trying to make positive.


I'm going to stop here before I ramble on before I get too boring or so and I have to go to work in 15 minutes. I have to leave early to take a longer route to work since part of the highway is shut down for repaving. I don't know how long it will last. Once they finish that part of the highway I have to take a longer route home when they work on another part of the highway. Fun. Fun.


PLEASE VOTE BLUE! I can't stress this enough! Mind you, there are good republicans but the majority are not. They are despicable when it comes to women's health and bodies and Trans kids. The r's are not human beings. They're evil in thinking. By the way, if democrats act this way, I'll be giving them the same treatment as the r's, even the Independents are not spared.

I could go on and on with this mess they're creating.


Okay. I'm going to stop rambling here. Please take care of yourselves and be safe!

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........


It's so strange to drop in at DA after many, many months or maybe a year or two - I've lost track now. It seems DA got its shit together compared to many months ago when it was really difficult to maneuver.


I haven't been in touch with anyone ( @littlenicky, @thunderwolfang and their tiny group; and Eli). I'm very, very sorry that I haven't been in touch with you all since last May. It was then I was actually burned out from looking after Dad. My brother came down to give me a break. It was my first break then in October my 2nd break and very recently last week was my 3rd break. So you are aware, you're not the only ones I haven't been in touch. My two "sisters", one from high school days and the other one from Pensacola (they were in my life long before I joined DA), I'd drop a few messages to them. So yeah, I'm mostly radio silence due to being a full time icaretaker to my Dad plus my part-time job. I'm most stressed from being mentally, emotionally and physically. Since I get stressed, I take naps. Almost every day.

My brother and I are in the discussion stage on what to do with Dad. We are planning to put in a memory care where he gets better meals, social interactions, and lots of care. Dad still knows who he is most of the time. Every now and then, he doesn't "see"me. He thinks I'm someone else. He's in a nesting stage where he hides certain things, mostly his wallet, keys and bank books. Gods, it's maddening trying to find those things! Last Friday I had to call the bank to freeze his debit card and I've locked his credit card online in case someone tries to use it. Luckily I found the damned thing. Only need to find it AGAIN a few hours later. :facepalm:


I'm hoping once he's in there, I'll get my life back. It will take a long while until I'm situated and no longer feeling esperasted. I actually missed drawing and coloring. I haven't been in a mood since 2018. I'm still in the Voltron fandom even though the show ended in Dec. 2018. I've dropped out the Rurouni Kenshin fandom sometime in 2017 when I really into Voltron reboot.


About Rurouni Kenshin. Looking back I feel like I was a different person who would go pokemon style buying doujinshi and merch. Drawing fanarts and reading fanfics and looking at fanarts like a zealous happy nut. ^^; :laughing: It's like I have an amnesia and so shocked that I was really into RK. It's just memories now. Some day I'll re-read the manga (last time was in 2013) and watch the DVDs again.


I still love Voltron. It has been my love since I was a teenager in the mid-80s. :love:


My "home" is Twitter now. It used to be Tumblr before the jackasses purged the communities. I still go there. Right now I mostly just vegate to destress. I'll read the news (any), weather, emails, artworks, fanfics and etc. Oh, occasionally I'll go to Instagram for VLD artwork. I'm also looking at places to live to give myself some ideas. I also need to find a full-time job if I'm going to look for a place to live. I'm hoping to be close where Dad is.


Last year hasn't been great due to Covid-19. It snowballed on me: infections came to our county, my work hours reduced, made my Dad stay home for one month (governor's order), shop for groceries, take-out foods, and going to work. Last March was the last time Dad was in the hospital for blacking out twice in one week. His medication was adjusted and he never had a problem since then. Plus the neurologist told me Dad wasn't allowed to drive so that puts the burden on me. Oh yeah, we had arguments of him demanding he want to drive. -_-


Had one situation three days before Thanksgiving where he was in another county, one hour and half away from home. I had to call 911 to report a missing person. Dad was so used to having keys in his pocket. I took the battery out of the key fob so he can carry them.


I'll stop babbling now. It was orginally supposed to be a short journal but instead I rambled. ^^;


As Lestor Holt ends his program every night: "Good night everyone. Please take care of yourself and each other". :peace:

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I read DA is changing its format. In my opinion they pick a very wrong time to roll the new version during the pandemic where people are afraid, angry, hungry, cagey (cabin fever) and etc. What they should have done is take a poll from the people. I see majority of people didn't like it, not because they don't like change, it's the how it's set up. I had a really hard time finding the journal button. I really don't like Eclipse because there's no individual stacks from the artists you watch and instead you have a wall of artwork. I don't know if it makes deleting a stack when you're not interested in looking. I just want to go straight to the notification page where I see comments, stacks and etc on one page and not a frigging wall of mixture of 'recommended for you', 'people you watch', and so on.


If it ain't broke, don't go fixing it. In fact, they take the new look to the old format and leave the damn site alone.


:icondastaff: (let me know so I can @ them to give them my peace of mind)


Dear DA staff, you certainly have a nack for f-ing things up over the years but this one takes the cake! Now it is NOT the time to roll out new format.


Okay, I'm tired. I got an email to write to family members that I've been way putting things off. -_-;

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Hi ya, long time, no see!

I haven't been here for so long that I've noticed some changes on DA. I hope they didn't get rid of sta.sh because I'm looking for an artwork that I saved from iPad. Once upon a time, I could save my ptg file to my email then ArtRage no longer send ptg file to email so I had to resort saving my work (layers work) to sta.sh here on DA. 

If anyone give me a heads up, I appreciate it! 

Good night! No point for me to stay up late because I have to get up tomorrow to do my caretaker's duties for my Dad. If only middle of January 2020 come here faster and hopefully things go back to the way it was. I can live with "almost". 

Oh! Thanking you in advance!
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I got a cold. >.< 

My practice manager shoulda made the young woman go home early on Monday. Yesterday she was sneezing so much and loudly. By early evening back of the top of my roof of my mouth was sore. Thankfully she didn't come in today. I was blowing my nose so much this morning. So, after work I some things I needed to attack this cold. I work at a small medical office. Hopefully I'll be better tomorrow when I go to work. 

I'm eating ice cream then go to bed at 10 or 10:30. 

Good night!
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