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I'm remembering HakuBaikou on January 27th for the 6th year and my Mom a month and 9 days.
Every time at certain times at night rolls around I would cry because I remember the image of my Mom dead then I would be okay. I know, hopefully, I would not be doing this all the time. It's not super vivid like in the first week. It was super fresh.
I'm still sorry I haven't been active here. It'll take time. I'm also having problems with neck and spine and it's affecting my sleep. Sitting doesn't help much either. So I'm going to a spine specialist for a second opinion. i hope this guy do a much better job than the one I went to last summer.
SanoKen is never far from my mind. I just to need to pull myself together. Oh, I'm looking for work too. Earlier this month I've decided not to return my job when I went on a leave of absence. But after my appointment with my spine there is a possibilitiy I might have to ask to return to that job because I don't know if I can get work right away. It's too bad it's not part time. Less stress on me and my body. I'll let you know.
So please be good to yourselves and be careful out there.
Good night!
Every time at certain times at night rolls around I would cry because I remember the image of my Mom dead then I would be okay. I know, hopefully, I would not be doing this all the time. It's not super vivid like in the first week. It was super fresh.
I'm still sorry I haven't been active here. It'll take time. I'm also having problems with neck and spine and it's affecting my sleep. Sitting doesn't help much either. So I'm going to a spine specialist for a second opinion. i hope this guy do a much better job than the one I went to last summer.
SanoKen is never far from my mind. I just to need to pull myself together. Oh, I'm looking for work too. Earlier this month I've decided not to return my job when I went on a leave of absence. But after my appointment with my spine there is a possibilitiy I might have to ask to return to that job because I don't know if I can get work right away. It's too bad it's not part time. Less stress on me and my body. I'll let you know.
So please be good to yourselves and be careful out there.
Good night!
Update
Hello everyone. Sorry for being MIA for too long since my last post. On September 27th marks two months ago since my Dad passed away. His death was different from my Mom's. He wasn't in the final stage of Alzheimer's which is stage 7. He was somewhere stages 5-6. It was difficult being with him until he died. My brother and I took turns being with him. He was on the day shift from 7 am to 7 pm while I on the night shift from 7 pm to 7 am. He did suffer some pain and was on morphine. I wish the staff used the IV instead injecting it with a syringe because I hated the colors inside Dad's mouth. It was greenish-blue. Also I wished they had liquid medications in the IV instead of injecting into his mouth. The meds were behavioral meds. If Dad didn't get them, he'll wake up being aggressive and agitated. They told me it has happened before with other residents. They want Dad's body settle in peace so he can slip away. We were told by the hospice nurse Dad had what is called Terminally
Still alive and stressed
........ It's so strange to drop in at DA after many, many months or maybe a year or two - I've lost track now. It seems DA got its shit together compared to many months ago when it was really difficult to maneuver. I haven't been in touch with anyone ( @littlenicky, @thunderwolfang and their tiny group; and Eli). I'm very, very sorry that I haven't been in touch with you all since last May. It was then I was actually burned out from looking after Dad. My brother came down to give me a break. It was my first break then in October my 2nd break and very recently last week was my 3rd break. So you are aware, you're not the only ones I haven't been in touch. My two "sisters", one from high school days and the other one from Pensacola (they were in my life long before I joined DA), I'd drop a few messages to them. So yeah, I'm mostly radio silence due to being a full time icaretaker to my Dad plus my part-time job. I'm most stressed from being mentally, emotionally and physically.
Really DA staff?
I read DA is changing its format. In my opinion they pick a very wrong time to roll the new version during the pandemic where people are afraid, angry, hungry, cagey (cabin fever) and etc. What they should have done is take a poll from the people. I see majority of people didn't like it, not because they don't like change, it's the how it's set up. I had a really hard time finding the journal button. I really don't like Eclipse because there's no individual stacks from the artists you watch and instead you have a wall of artwork. I don't know if it makes deleting a stack when you're not interested in looking. I just want to go straight to the notification page where I see comments, stacks and etc on one page and not a frigging wall of mixture of 'recommended for you', 'people you watch', and so on. If it ain't broke, don't go fixing it. In fact, they take the new look to the old format and leave the damn site alone. :icondastaff: (let me know so I can @ them to give them my peace
Where did stash go?
Hi ya, long time, no see!
I haven't been here for so long that I've noticed some changes on DA. I hope they didn't get rid of sta.sh because I'm looking for an artwork that I saved from iPad. Once upon a time, I could save my ptg file to my email then ArtRage no longer send ptg file to email so I had to resort saving my work (layers work) to sta.sh here on DA.
If anyone give me a heads up, I appreciate it!
Good night! No point for me to stay up late because I have to get up tomorrow to do my caretaker's duties for my Dad. If only middle of January 2020 come here faster and hopefully things go back to the way it was. I can live with "almost
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I'm here for you if you ever need to talk :'< 